i am not gonna jinx it

harlow world, i am feeling out of sorts today. i dont feel sad, or angry, or pissed off. when i am irritated the irritation manifests itself in a few angsty statements made to friends, then i start feeling okay again. there seems to be a cushion beneath my head, like how i just couldnt be bothered about the whole world. the pining and the whining seems a thign of the past, and i find there’s so much i’ve got to do.

i think what i’m feeling is embodies itself in one sentence: “what the hell, whatever.” there you have it. i am so not gonna jinx this feeling. hope i wake up tomorrow feeling like that again.

babby! let’s go on leave soon!

would you please

if there’s someone out there, please, please, please, grant me this simple wish. let you see what you mean to me, and what i may still (even a little) mean to you. i’d give 10 years of my life for this. there, i’ve said it. for all the times of happiness, the happy pictures we’ve made, one more chance. please, let’s try again, start all over..

i had no idea

how they could live their lives like that smiling to one another when they spent most of their time time talking behind one another’s backs? i find it so hard to accept.  you dont know how everyone hates you and they’re just all being polite.

you’re so irritating it’s funny to see you bend backwards over like a silly lap dog making puppy eyes. you’re so gonna get what you deserve, and when that day comes i will be here, watching.

disgust

it’s amazing how you can lose passion so quickly. i suppose 2 years of pushing papers around, being forced to take things into your own hands, create and define your own work environment because you tend to receive little or no guidance, whether you request sincerely or not, is more than enough to make me into someone extremely braindead. it has come to a point when i just plain dont care or bother to make the effort. i dont blame anyone but myself. but to be extremely honest, i have done the best that i could with what i was given, and delivered more. for some reason i wish there was something more i could do. i wish i could be pushed, could be prodded, could be mentored into learning more, accomplishing more. there is only so far one can do on their own. it doesnt help how i find out about what i could be assisting on from other people outside my team, when my own team members have opted to exclude me. whether for their own insecurities, or otherwise i dont ever want to be stuck in this rut again.

gastronomia

once the tenants start filling up the sail, lunch time places at ORQ proliferated! there’s a newly opened gastronmia at the sail.

have walked past the one in paragon basement and great world city a few times, but never had an opportunity to try. plus 18 bucks for pasta served on a paper plate just doesnt quite cut it as justification for money well spent.

being lazy, i tried the home-made pasta one day for lunch and i am SO hooked. i finished every strand of springy eggy taglioni and licked up every bit of crab sauce on the paper plate. seriously, 22 bucks well-spent.

tried the mushroom aglio olio today. f-ing good. i am going to work my way slowly through the whole menu. spent the five minutes waiting for food dreaming up what i am going to have the next time i want some comfort in my belly.

this is what i ate today

mocha frapp from bschool canteen

belgium handmade choc bar from choonhong (:

fags

missed out a 10% assignment due for my module. what a bore and chore. let’s go watch kumar tomorrow!

it’s a good time

i love my dress from asos. by far the most expensive dress i’ve ever bought. that’s $75.00 , shipping & conversion rates included. i have to wear it 75  times to bring it down to an average of $1 / wear. dont think that’s going to be possible, seeing that it’s slit in the front, and the back.

what’s the point of looking good anyways, when i just plain dont give a fuck?

why not

goodbye to you, to everything that i knew. you were the one i loved, the one thing that i t tried to hold on to. i’d rather not be friends anymore.

a little something

a little present for myself. when you’re alone, you tend to do silly things like these.

light up light up

in order to better appreciate life as it is, you need to learn how to light up. there are only so much you could ever control. when you carry any faith to the extreme, you’re psychotic. i could never accept defeat. even if i did, it will not be with grace. these days i’ve come to the realisation that you can never win at everything. shocking to say the least, to be faced with such a revelation.

you just wait and see though, i will then settle for winning at almost everything.